race anxiety = test anxiety

i woke up this morning in a cold sweat and realized i had been having a bad dream about the half marathon. it was exactly the feeling i had when i used to have the first-day-of-school bad dreams when i forgot something and hadn't prepared (or accidently showed up naked). in my bad dream, i realized the race had moved and i had no way of telling the couple of people who were coming to see me. so no one came to see me and i was late to the starting line and then my sister showed up and i started chatting with her and she said she wanted to run with me. we started running but she kept wanting to stop at water fountains and i asked her to please stop doing that. however, i realized i hadn't brought a water bottle and was really sad about it. then we were waiting in line to run because there was a bottleneck on the course. it was super weird and super anxiety-producing as a slept.

anyway, i started school last week (i am in a ph.d. program at loyola university chicago) and so i haven't had a lot of time to update. here is what i have done in my first busy week:

tuesday, 8/25 - bikram yoga

wednesday, 8/26 - 4 miler

friday, 8/28 - 5 miler

saturday, 8/29 - bikram yoga

sunday, 8/30 - 9 miler

today my 9 miler didn't really even hurt. my hip felt great the whole time and my knees were only a little sore right at the end. it was a great run and i am almost excited about my next long run (which will be the last one before the half marathon!), which is next sunday and only 8 miles. (who would have thought i would EVER say "only 8 miles"??)

plus, another athletic update - i learned how to swing a golf club on friday evening. my bf and i went to the driving range and he gave me lessons. look out world! i have to say that bikram yoga really helps me in so many aspects of understanding how my body moves. perhaps this is a wierd statement to someone who has been athletic all his or her life, but to me when someone would say "curl your spine" or even something as simple as "engage your core," i was always like, "what, now?" before bikram, i couldn't really visualize what my body could do. but since you have to stare in the mirror when doing bikram, now i understand - perhaps not perfectly, but i understand the general ideas now.

updates!

sunday, august 16 - bikram yoga

tuesday, august 18 - 11 miler

ouch. i tried a cold bath, but it didn't really help my knees and hip. ouch. no one really talks about how much running hurts!! but it sure does!

thursday, august 20 -4 miler

friday, august 21 - 6 miler

saturday, august 22 - bikram yoga

monday, august 24 - 12 miler

which brings me to today and my aching knees and hip. ouch again. i took an ice bath and that felt awful, but hopefully will help. i spoke with my friend alissa who is a runner, and she told me that after she runs her knees don't hurt - just her thigh muscles. this led me to believe that perhaps i am doing something wrong with my running. number one is that i haven't done my hip strengthening exercises in quite a while. i am going to get on that tomorrow.

i am really proud of my 12 miler because that is the most i am going to run until the actual half marathon. very exciting! now, according to my traing schedule, i need to taper off and relax my running. hopefully this means my knees and hip (not the one i pulled months ago, the other one) will be healthy and happy by the time the half marathon comes along on september 13!

school restarted today. i am in my third year as a ph.d. student at loyola university chicago. now that i am back in the real world working and schooling it, i am kinda worried about keeping this exercise routine up. i will keep you updated!

i really do like what running does for me psychologically

so i was having a really bad day today - i will spare you the details - and the only time i actually felt good was when i was running my 5 miles today. it continues to amaze me that exercise really does make me better in all ways = physical, emotional, and mental. even my confidence has improved. however, it's getting off the couch when you feel sad and making the decision to do something productive that is sometimes the most difficult. word.

new bikram yoga place!

yay! so i founda new bikram yoga place that is a mile from my apartment. upon first glance, it appears to hold poses for a shorter time and be slightly cooler than past places. this is good while i am training for the half marathon, i have decided, because it will allow me to save up energy for my runs and still strengthen my very weak muscles, so i am excited!

i also am excited because i can buy zico for $21 per case. this is thrilling because on amazon it is $23.99 per case....so now i can get delicious zico almost at cost. hoooooooray! k, well, it is obviously late so i will head to bed. but i just wanted to make sure i updated my post before it was morning.

easy peesy 4 mile run

yep, 4 miles are now like nothing! i stayed at my mom's house last night so i could play with my niece, sister and mom last night and this morning. so this morning i used mapmyrun.com again and figured out a 4 miler for this morning. after playing with my adorable niece for an hour, i went on my run. it really wasn't bad at all - i guess since i have the 10 miler under my belt i am feeling kinda invincible. it's not a bad feeling.

i got back from my run and my little sister offered to do 20 minute pilates with me. i have never done them before, but i can say with certainty pilates are more fun when my little sister is mocking the instructor on comcast and commenting on her dirty feet. good times.

i just ate two eggs and a delicious bagel at my mom's house and then decided i wanted to see how much protein are in eggs, because i assumed it was a lot. it is only 6 grams of protein - aw fooey. i think i need to be doing a better job tracking this protein thing. i just had this coversation with my little sister, and she had very interesting ideas on how a vegetarian can get more protein...

anyway, i am off to my little sister's salon...more later. :)

10 miles - holla!

so i just ran 10 miles. yep. however, before i feel all proud of myself, please note that not one but two 40+ women gave me the pleasure of eating their dust today. in my defense, i just wanted to finish the 10 miles, so i wasn't bothered about getting it done quickly. i just didn't want to have to walk at any point. these women had probably been running for many, many years...so i know i shouldn't feel bad. i should just hope to be as tough as them when i am 40+! however, i couldn't help but feel a bit sheepish as they bolted past me.

the past two days i have been slacking slightly. i tried to exercise on sunday, the last day i was in toronto, but the workout room was closed at 6:30 am. booo. so i went to the remaining sessions at the conference and then headed back to chi-town. overall, it was a fantastic conference and really just a great time. i did walk all over toronto and the airport, but that really doesn't count as training. then yesterday i went to a meeting with my professor late in the afternoon and planned to run after that, but my stomach was really hurting so i didn't want to run or do bikram last night. instead i just did some work and went to sleep.

i am starting a new bikram yoga studio this week, so I am excited about that. i will keep you updated...

running psychologists' 5K

so this morning alissa and i woke up at 5:30 am to run a 5K here at the conference in toronto. we were bussed over to a park and ran like the wind! i thought i was last - which just goes to show you where my confidence in my athletic abilities lie, but i won the first place in my division (20-29)! i got a medal! (that's not really true though because alissa won overall woman, and so really i got second place in my division...but my medal says 1st place, so i will take what i can get!)

i ran my 5K in 25 minutes, so 3 miles in 25 minutes ain't bad at all. i am really proud of myself, but i think i should have brought my inhaler to toronto. i don't usually push myself that hard, and cold is not good for asthma and it was chilly this morning up here in toronto, so breathing was a bit tricky.

i got to see the sun come up over the city of toronto, which was just across the lake. it was beautiful! and they gave us bananas and granola bars afterwards. i kinda felt like the big winner today!! (of course, most of the people running are in their 40s, so i probably shouldn't be that excited - but like i said, i am going to enjoy it today.) now off to the conference!

biking in place in toronto

in place of bikram yoga today i biked in place for 35 minutes...that's all. it was really a busy conference day! it started when i woke up late because my phone doesn't know what time it is. then i rushed to make an 8am session and a 9am session. the 9am one was exceptional and motivated me to get that dissertation done! then i came back to the hotel, exercised, and went to lunch with my friend alissa.

for lunch today we found a food court with a million fresh fruits and veggies (yum - salad). a quarter of the eateries in the food court were (gasp) healthy! i really like toronto. of course, there was a mcdonalds thrown into the mix, but it was okay because there were also delicious but good for you options.

i am about to go out for a walk in toronto, so this one must be brief. check ya later!

today street dairy - tomorrow street meat!

so here i am in toronto for the american psychological association conference - and i could not be having more fun! all of my senses are happy. after waking up at 3:00 am this morning, i flew to toronto, went to a few conference presentations and a poster presentation, got excited about my dissertation, went for a 5 mile run at the fitness center, walked around with the wonderful alissa and her aunt (a local canadian) for a brief tour of the city, and then had dinner with alissa's adorable aunt and uncle. it was so refreshing for my relationship schemas.

after navigating the subway of toronto, alissa and i had some street dairy - which is just a fancy way of saying we ate from an ice cream truck. yay!! toronto is a vegetarian friendly and incredibly green city - recycling is their way. alissa has had many great one liners today, but "i don't know how to recycle, i'm from chicago" was the funniest/saddest one i heard. additionally, the street venders in toronto sell street meat - including VEGGIE HOT DOGS. be still my heart. i am totally gonna grab one tomorrow. and then i will beam in a similar manner to which i was beaming while eating my swirl ice cream in waffle cone just moments ago.

the apa conference is really exceptional. there is such a variety of presentations and super brilliant minds. you know what else there is? a 5K (3 mile) run for running psychologists on saturday morning. holla! i signed up and am super pumped about it. signing up for the run meant i get a teeshirt that says "running psychologist" - now usually it makes me kinda sad to put a label on things, but in this case i love my label!

plus, i have really missed traveling internationally...i used to be quite the globe trotter and my cultural mind was thirsty. this whole dinner with canadians thing reminded me of how much i love new cultures, even when they are fairly similar to us from the good ol' u.s. of a. who wants to go to a new country with me?

off to go plan the conference tomorrow and when i am going to get my work-out in!

4 mile walk today

so this morning i got a wonderful surprise while i was driving home from bikram yoga. i received a call from my little sister asking as if i was free this afternoon because she and my niece were planning a beach day! yay! so cara (my little sister) and autumn (who will be 2 in november) came to the city (they live in the burbs) to play with me. the most beautiful part of this - we walked 4 miles together! cara (who, if she had her way, would take limos everywhere she went) said she didn't mind walking with me because she understood how into this whole fitness thing i am. i am like a disease!

so we walked a mile to the beach, a mile back, and then parked a mile from navy pier and walked there and back. it was a brilliant day! we did have a conversation about how it is strange because although i feel different i do not think my body is really looking any different than when i started. i have always been on the slender side of life, but i would love to see a bit more definition in my stomach and arms too with all this work i am putting in.

starting tomorrow i have agreed with a group of dear friends that we will work out every day for at least 25 minutes. i am planning on trying for an hour per day. during training i have been taking one day off to rest, but this competition (for lack of a better word) with my dear friends means doing something every day. so i guess we shall see if more running as the half marathon creeps closer plus the exercising every day thing helps with my tone.

i am leaving for canada for a conference tomorrow, so i am worried about how i will get my long run in on sunday. i guess i will just have to roll with the punches and see how things go...i will, as always, keep you updated!

no more naps

okay, so i am slightly embarrassed to admit that during the first two weeks (almost three...) of training, i was napping almost every day. my friends have different theories on the reasoning - some say not enough protein, some say i am lazy, others think i might have mono. i think i was not taking in enough calories or protein for how much hard work i have been doing. so lately when i am hungry, instead of waiting for the next meal time, i eat a little something. i drink green tea. i try to make sure i am as hydrated as possible. and, perhaps most importantly, i do not let myself go horizontal in the middle of the day. (that's the tricky part.)

this really is kinda tricky since one of my hip exercises does force me to lay on my side. i do 3 sets of 10 reps on each side. during the first week of training i did my first set, rested my hip for one minute like i was supposed to, and then woke up at least a half hour later totally confused as to why there was a band around my knees and why the sun was out.

my dear friend from childhood came over last night with a costco crate of protein shakes. i was shocked to learn that 30 grams of protein is only 60% of your daily requirement (and i feel like my requirement might be slightly more since i am training). i definitely have not been getting 60 grams of protein every day, so that's definitely something i need to work on.

just to keep you updated on my training, i ran 3 miles today at a fairly brisk pace and then came home and did stretches and hip strengthening exercises (while drinking a delicious protein shake) (thank you, gabi!!). so far it has been 3 days of no naps! and i think that's progress.

nature's sports drink

yum. i just got out of bikram yoga after a day off yesterday. bikram felt fantastic today. after a day of eating not so healthy, it was very purifying. my legs needed a bit of a stretch after that 8 mile run on saturday. however, i have been worried about the electrolytes i have been losing when i do bikram because i sweat like a bad word. someone was recently talking about zico, this pure coconut water, and i see people at my bikram yoga studio drinking it after class. today i decided to treat myself to some coconut water to see if it was tastey.

it's delicious! and it's completely natural and has 5 essential electrolytes and more potassium than a banana. plus it tastes like you should be on a beautiful desert island and not in rainy chicago. i don't know where you can buy this stuff in bulk, but i need to find out because it is unbelievably good - and good for you!

i must admit, i am kinda a granola head. i really like natural things and this is a great find! i am always interested in finding the most natural thing to put in my body. i am a vegetarian (pescatarian, actually - i love fish), and i am also looking for new ways to up my protein intake as i prepare for the half marathon. yesterday i was introduced to greek yogurt. mmmmmm...and so much protein! i will need to invest in some of that deliciousness as well.

also, another great thing about zico is their slogan: "unleash your natural athlete." now does that work for me, or what?!

holy 8 miles, batman!

guess who ran 8.3 miles today!! actually, i ran 8 miles and walked a cool-down of .3. i always wondered how people who ran long distances had a clue how far they had run - can some people tell what a mile felt like? if so, i am certainly not one of those people, so i use mapmyrun.com. it's pretty wonderful, actually, because you can use the satellite function and highlight trails and stuff. i wouldn't have a clue how far i'd run without it.

8 miles is a lot, if you ask me. and while i was running it started raining - which actually just made me feel that much more hardcore of a runner. i didn't mind the rain at all. the only real issue while i was running continues to be my form. my PT and i talked about the correct form (i.e. arms, posture, leg and foot placement) and so i stress out about it a bit while running. i had a gait analysis a week or so ago, where my PT took a video of my walking and running and let me know what i can be doing to better focus my energy.

i have weak hips, which i described in a previous post, so i know i need to continue working on strengthening them for my half marathon. actually, i am going to go do my hip strengthening exercises right now and then go get ready for my ten year high school reunion. anyway, this weak hip business forces a bit of an overstep when running. another issue is that i bounce a lot in my stride rather than focus my energy forward. so all these things are on my mind as i run.

anyway, i am feeling mighty pleased with myself about this 8 mile stuff. i was mildly freaking out this past week at the idea of an 8 mile run, but i did it! and in the rain. :)